OUR HEALING

"Simply feeling good about our sexuality will go along way toward healing many of our social ills."

OUR HEALING
By Daniel D. Ziegler

If we listen to the news and look at the newspapers, we realize that we as a society obviously have problems. We seem to be a society out of control. Some say we have lost our morals. Others say we have forgotten God. Still others say greed has taken over or that our lives are too complicated, we need to simplify them. That we have a problem, we agree on. What we don't seem to be able to agree upon is what the real problem or problems are. Whatever the problem is, it shows up in many forms--anger, violence and rage and all too often, in deadly shootings. And it shows up everywhere--in our schools, in our businesses, in government, in our homes, in churches, everywhere. There seems to be no group or situation that escapes its grip.

Deep inside, unconsciously, many of us know or sense what the problem is--at least a big part of it. But by the very sensitive nature of the problem itself, we are discouraged from admitting to it, from looking at it, and certainly from talking about it or suggesting what it might be for fear of being branded as being part of the problem itself. So we remain silent, and it remains an unmentionable. We go about our daily lives either ignoring it or looking for some other issue, or issues, to blame, kidding ourselves into thinking we can solve it some other way--fewer guns, perhaps more guns, tighter gun controls, and on and on and on. But we can't. These suggestions are simply scapegoats skirting the issue, and we won't solve the problem it until we have the courage to face it head on.

Perhaps it is in one of the ways that the problem shows up that is most telling or most revealing of itself. It is in the form of perverted and abusive sex. While this can be most revealing, it also can is the most distracting clue too, for in these cases sex itself seems to be the culprit, or at least our handling, or mishandling, of sex. Yet this idea is misleading and without careful re-examination, we can be led down a path which can only make the problem worse, not better. So the real problem continues to elude most of us.

A few brave souls in our past know and have known what the problem is--or at least a major portion of it--and have been trying to do something about it for years. These are brave souls indeed, pioneers, in a sense, going where no man or woman in our society has gone before. But many of these individuals are not well known to the general public, and if they are, they are branded as being on the fringes of society, certainly not mainstream and certainly not people we would want to be seen or identified with. So we won't see them at a White House conference on crime, for example.

What is the problem? The problem is simply our negative attitude toward our sexuality--not our sexuality, but our negative attitude toward it--and our resulting ignorance. The problem reaches every aspect of our lives, and the affects are far more reaching than any of us imagine.

Basically we are a sexually frustrated society. We are a society operating on misdirected sexual energy. We are like a creative child whose creativity is stifled and whose repressed creative energy displays itself in frustration, in the form of anger, violence and destruction. With that child, the creative energy shows its dark and shadowy side. And so it is with our society.

Another way of looking at it is to think of someone who has poor eating habits and is not eating properly, and therefore not getting their nutritional needs met. The body cries out trying to satisfy itself but because of the poor eating habits, the person ends up "pigging out" on junk food, which can lead to all kinds of problems--including behavioral. This is what is happening to us because we are pigging out on "junk sex" because healthy sex is illudes us because of repression. The anger, the violence, the road rage, drug use, shootings, and all the rest that are so prevalent with us, is simply our repressed creative sexual energy showing up as frustration. We are experiencing our dark and ugly sides because our light and healthy sides have been held down, repressed.

The most direct way this shows up, of course, is sexual. It shows up in the form of perverted and abusive sex--and our fascination and obsession with it. An example of this, an incident related to a former president, is still all too fresh in our memories. But let us make no mistake about this, though, sexual repression rears its ugly head in many, many ways, not just sexual. Another example is our general attitude of shame toward our bodies. We cover our bodies for concealment and adornment based on shame, and we have become obsessed with fashion to the point where teenagers are shooting each other over jackets and sneakers. The diet industry bombards us with often dangerous products, and women have dangerous breast implants inserted. All this because we don't like our bodies, we don't like ourselves--which is ultimately based on our negative attitude toward our own sexuality. The problem of sexual repression is far reaching.

This is not startling new information, though. Freud, and others have taught us about sexual energy, and what happens with us when we repress it. Wilhelm Reich, who wrote several books dealing with sexual repression including The Mass Psychology of Fascism, was thrown in prison where he eventually died for teaching that sexual energy is healing energy and could actually heal cancer. Talk about repression.

But this type of repression is still going on today, such that any public figure that dares to speak out on the issue is quickly and quietly shoved back into the background and into the fringes. That's how deeply ingrained the problem is. An example of this occurred a some ago when Dr. Joycelyn Elders was fired from her post as Surgeon General of the United State for merely suggesting that we talk about masturbation in our schools as a way of curbing teenage pregnancies. Dr Elders saw the problem, and was sincere in her desire to offer positive solutions. She was on to something, and most of us know that at some level. But our shame, our embarrassment, our guilt, and in general, our fear (or rather the fears of our elected politicians) all led us away from what would be a simple and healthy solution--or at least part of the solution--of a serious problem plaguing our society. Fortunately Dr. Elders is still doing her brave work today she but she remains outside of the public sector. Our loss.

We are making some progress, though, but we still have along ways to go. Today we are learning that Reich was correct. Sexual energy IS creative energy, IS life energy, IS life itself. It is the most powerful energy there is, and if we try to smother it, it will show up some other way--and show up it will. And that is what is happening in our society and that is what we need to learn. Now, can we admit to that? And if we can, how do we have it not manifest itself in negative ways? How do we let our sexuality play itself out in healthy ways? Aren't we talking about a sexual revolution with such ideas? All good and very important questions.

As a result of thousands of years of sexual repression through religious restrictions, social taboos, moral codes, emotional conventions, etc., it is difficult for of us to even know what healthy sexuality is, let alone how to let it play out. We are simply ignorant. All we know or all we have been taught-- our entire attitude toward sexuality--is based on shame, embarrassment, guilt and fear. That cannot possibly be healthy, and so healthy sexuality, for the most part, remains a mystery to us. We, as a society, probably don't yet have the slightest clue as to the beauty of human sexuality and how it can help lead us to spiritual enlightenment. But we need to start learning fast, and stop fearing it, or it will destroy us.

The fear that we have of unleashing our sexuality is that, as a society, we would totally lose control if we were allowed to experience and express all our natural urges. What is happening, though, is that we have gone totally out of control as a result of repressing these natural urges. The very thing that we fear is now occurring as a result of our fear, only in a different way. We are out of control with violence.

To correct the problem we must face our fear, that is stop being ashamed of our sexuality, stop feeling embarrassed over feeling sexual, stop feeling guilty over being sexual and stop fearing our sexuality all together. If we can begin to feel good about our sexuality, we will begin feeling good about ourselves. And why shouldn't we? After all, we were created as sexual beings, so to feel good about that, is to feel good about who we are; and when we can feel good about ourselves, we will feel better toward each other.

Simply feeling good about our sexuality will go a long way toward healing many of our social ills. All we need to do is get in touch with ourselves, be ourselves, let ourselves out, and be all that we are. We all are simply crying to be let out. As creations of the Universe, all we want is to be seen and recognized for who and what we are, and that includes sexual beings. This won't require a sexual revolution, just an awakening. And, we would no more get out of control than a creative child gets out of control when that child is handed a set of paints and paper or is exposed to music and begins to dance. A healthy expression and release of our sexual energy will remove the frustration that we now live with. It will allow us to feel good about ourselves, and it will allow us to re-channel much of that energy into many new forms of creative social endeavors that will genuinely improve social conditions on the planet. We will not lose control, as we have feared.

But how do we begin? Again, by first being willing to look at ourselves, recognizing that our attitude toward our sexuality might just be a major problem, that it just may be the cause of what is going on in our society. This will probably be a most difficult step to take, however, because we are in such denial over the whole issue of our sexuality. The ingraining runs very deep and like all denials, covers its own tracks. But if we are to save ourselves from our own self-destruction, we must begin, and that is where--admit our mistake.

Then, we need to actually get in touch with our sexuality. This may not be easy either, again because we have never truly done that. We have never truly accepted our sexuality as something healthy and beautiful. And, we may not be able to overcome all the shame, embarrassment, guilt and fear in our lifetime, but we can at least begin, thus leaving the door open for our children to break the cycle we have been trapped in.

To get in touch with our sexuality, we need to step out of our comfort zone and learn of sexuality anew. We can begin by reading books on sexuality--even erotica. There are many good books in our bookstores, and now many books on spirituality even include discussions of positive sexuality. One of the pioneers I refer to is Betty Dodson PhD sex educator and author of SEX FOR ONE and ORGASMS FOR TWO. I highly recommend these. The Internet, in spite of its reputation for containing pornography, contains a wealth of good information. There are many excellent web sites dedicated to positive human sexuality, and there are many excellent books and videos available through these sites. A good site is the Society for Human Sexuality. Much of this information is provided by those whom I mentioned earlier--the pioneers--who work on the fringes of our society doing the ground work in human sexuality. They are the ones who recognize that we have serious problems in the area of our sexuality, and they are the real experts on the subject.

Then, attend lectures and seminars. Start discussion groups--even in our churches--where there may be the most opposition but where they most needed. Share with others the material that we have. Talk openly with others, and share what we've learned--and what we're feeling.And, learn about ourselves. This is so important. Learn to like ourselves, learn to love ourselves, and most importantly, learn to make love to ourselves, and to be totally in touch with how that feels. And, feel good about doing that. That is an important step because self-love is the beginning of all love.

And the last thing we need to do, but certainly not the least important, is to teach our children to love themselves and their sexuality--no shame, no embarrassment, no guilt, and no fear--just to love themselves, as Dr. Elders was suggesting. Our teenage children need a healthy and safe release of their sexual energy, and they need and deserve our support and encouragement in doing so, after all, they are sexual beings too. Again, this may not be an easy step for us, especially since we have pushed the job of sex education off on to our schools because we were afraid to talk about it ourselves--or didn't know enough about it. Again, the shame and embarrassment runs deep, but let's not pass as much of it on to our children as was passed on to us. Rather, let us teach them love, beginning with self-love. An excellent book in thie area is HARMFUL TO MINORS: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex by Judith Levine.

These steps will all serve as a beginning. Since we are products of sexual repression, we have no clear guidelines to go by, so much of what we will learn will be discovered as we go along. But if we can constantly remind ourselves to always come from love and never from fear, we will be guided through this uncharted territory to our destination.

In conclusion, it would serve us well to be honest with ourselves over this whole issue and admit we know what the problem is. If we can, we will have made great strides into healing the human psyche--and the planet. We may, indeed, even be saving ourselves. To look at ourselves honestly is perhaps the most difficult part but also the most rewarding. We must then trust this process, and if we can trust the process, the rest will follow. The next generation can live more peaceful lives and can enjoy what we most feared--our own God-given sexuality. Let us be the ones who discover that our sexuality can indeed lead us to enlightenment. And, let's not forget to have fun.

My Vision of the World:
I see a world in which we are neither burdened by shame of our bodies nor fear of our sexuality and we are free to seek the highest expression of our human experience. ddz

To receive a free e-copy (PDF file) of my book NAKED BEFORE GOD: A Look At Healing, Self-discovery and Spiritual Growth Through Social Nudism, go to http://less-onsfortruth.com/ or email me ddziegler44@yahoo.com