BUSH'S TRUE DESTINY

BUSH’S TRUE DESTINY

by Daniel D. Ziegler

Although not surprising to insiders, it certainly came as major surprises to First Lady Laura Bush and former First Lady Barbara Bush when their husband and son respectively, George W., announced today that he had converted to the Islam faith and changed his name to Muhammad Dubya.

“I was shocked,” said Laura Bush, “when George handed me a hijab and asked me to try it on.” A visibly shaken and angry Barbara Bush said it sounded like a call to jihad in the Bush family.

But to insiders of George W. politics, this move came as no surprise, neither was it a surprise to students of Western history, particularly the Roman Empire. It was Emperor Constantine in the 4th century AD, who when felt threatened by the surging power of Christians, made a brilliant political move by converting to Christianity.

With the recent rise on anti-American sentiment in the Muslim world standing in the way of President Bush’s ambition of controlling mid-eastern oil, Bush advisers have suggested for sometime now that possibly the only way to conquer them was to join them. It worked for Constantine then, why would it not work for Bush today?

But George W. Bush, a devout Christian and a very religious man, was troubled by such a suggestion. “That would be heresy,” he told his advisers, until it was explained to him that Constantine, after converting to Christianity, proceeded to make Christianity the official religion of the Roman Empire and set himself up as head of the Christian Church. He thus was able to control the Roman Empire both politically and religiously. George W. began to see the light.

Constantine was no dummy. Once in charge of Christianity, he proceeded to change it to his liking. He incorporated pagan holidays and rituals into Christian customs and went so far as to throw out much of what he didn’t agree with from the then known Bible. We owe much to this man who cleaned up Christianity.

George W. Bush now feels he understands his true destiny. And for us, understanding all this, it comes as no surprise what Muhammad Dubya has up the sleeve of his thobe. In addition to plenty of fuel for our petronomic future, we can look forward to many wonderful changes, including “In Oil We Trust” on our money.

There will be a formal announcement at a press conference from the White House today, just before the 5 pm prayers.

Copyright 2003 Daniel D. Ziegler